Here Is a Door (iv)

Here is a door
that leads to an otherworld.
Turn the handle and step through.

In this otherworld,
rabbits climb trees with purple leaves.
Long-bearded storytellers in short green coats
sit on every street corner, playing dominoes,
and gabbling to passersby of whales and wintertales and roquefort cheese.
Eighty-year-old children skip through fields of polka-dot roses.
Skyscrapers are only three and a half inches tall,
right is always the one that's left,
and all downs go up.

Come in and be amazed...
just like Alice.

DLD/05SEP07

Here Is a Door (iii)

Here is a door to my world.

Don't mind the broken glass --
the window fell out last week
and I haven't yet repaired it.

Yes, I know some of the stick-on letters
have lost some of their stick-on-iveness
and the sign on the door now says, "C nR ade ."

Don't mind the peeling paint --
I want a new colour
and haven't decided yet which one.

Yes, I know the handle is broken....
the door still works fine
if you just give it a little push.

But please do come in.
I've saved you a seat on the patio
where we can watch the sunset
and catch fireflies.

DLD/04SEP07

Here Is a Door (ii)

Here is a door
to my heart...
The key's a bit rusty
and the lock squeals some,
but you will find that it still works.
Please oil the latch, shake the dust
from the welcome mat,
and close the door behind you
when you leave.

DLD/04SEP07

Here Is a Door

Here is a door
to the rest of your life
Where do you want it to lead?

Will you turn the handle
and walk through sedately?
Or will you rev up the bike
and smash the door to bits,
as you wave hasta la vista
to your past?
Or will you tiptoe silently
across the threshold,
hoping that no one sees you leave
...or arrive?

Will you stop and look
before proceeding?
Or will you run roughshod
over the cobbled path,
leaving muddy footprints
and scattered laughter
in your wake?

Does the door lead to a place
you've dreamed of going?
Or maybe you're one
who hasn't given one bit of thought to
where you're headed...

Is it a path you dread to take?
Does the darkness frighten you?
Or does your doorway open onto
sunshine and waterfalls?

Here is a door
to the rest of your life.

DLD/01FEB07

Listening to: Hung Up (Madonna).
Frustrated about: Maintenance workers' strike. Nine of twelve London Underground lines suspended. No library for me today. :(

Searching

With nothing to guide me
but the star at my back....
I set my course for away.

Whispering prayers of longing and release,
I grasp the cool air, breathe it deep....
view it transformed into the essence
of what I can become.

The sword at my side glints wickedly
mirroring the smile of he who awaits....
and the jewelled hilt brings back a memory
of blue eyes, both deep and serene.

Driving for the forest....refusing to ponder
what dangers may lay ahead....
leaves blown from my path
as though a zephyr passes through
and one foot follows the other
in an intricate dance of mystery and invitation.

The star behind is now hidden...
vanished behind the blackness of tall trunks.
Wandering blind
I search still.

DLD/31AUG07

Listening to: End of the Road (Kim Waters), on iTunes SKY.FM Absolutely Smooth Jazz.
Celebrating: Five more weeks of summer break. Classes begin on Oct 8th. :)

the spilling

within me
a building intensity,
a threatened smothering
that demands release...
a submersion into emotion
uncontrolled

my body feels ill-conceived
to contain within its boundaries
this thing
this sea swell
that fills up and spills out

flowing from me
in a voiceless cascade

DLD/30AUG07

Listening to: Better Now (Collective Soul)
Watching: Comfort & Joy

Maelstrom

There have been times
when disaster seemed to court my every step.
My heart, desire, my very being
captured in a whirlpool.....
ever spinning, ever drowning....
the waters pulling me down
.....down
..........down
until even breath
threatens to cease.

That whirlpool pulls our limbs
every which-way, all at the same time....
so misdirected as to be misinformed,
unable to focus, unable to imagine escape,
unable to see beyond the blackness
of the swirling maelstrom.

So easy to
give up.

Yet even whirlpools and maelstroms have endpoints,
and yes, we are spit out the other side...
.....eventually
...........and with strength and determination
a firm set to the chin
a glint in the eye
and a sense of humour
about what just happened (!)
we can rise above those tattered sails
and battered hulls....
and find a new island...
a place and a time
to begin again.

Would I choose to brave that maelstrom again?
Not sure it's my choice. :)

But yes.

Being inside the chaos
is the only way to appreciate
the serenity that follows.

DLD/28AUG07

Listening to: Roll with the Changes (REO Speedwagon)
Ran out of: Amazon DVD credits till September 14th. Ack! What will I do??? :P

Caught

Caught
within a swirling maelstrom
feet lifted from sea bottom
while my spirit yet sinks....
I struggle to regain my footing
but am swept away over and over again.
Recovery seems torn
from my grasp.

Shall I surrender to the waves....?
give in to the urge to
breathe deeply....
fill my lungs with salty remembrances
of past disappointments....
Shall I sink into memories....?
resist the pull of the future....
or refuse the tides that call me home.

DLD/27AUG07

Stardust

To be born within stardust
Afar from the shackles that bind us here....
Can we be born again, on the far side of the universe?
And still continue our earthbound journey?
At once?

If this is possible,
I shall send my wings skyward
.....now.....
I shall pry thy fingers from my ankles
.....now.....
I shall lift thee from thy knees and take thee with me
.....now....
and we will travel there
as one,
floating high over this
troubled world....

I will wipe the worries from thy brow.
I will capture thy spirit within mine own.
I will hold thy heart in the palm of my hand
and whisper words of grace.

If this is possible,
then I wish it for all.

DLD/26AUG07

Listening to: Everybody Hurts (REM)
Planning: A day of utter laziness. The paperwork can wait.

i fall

i fall
into you

into your soft words
that create a melody
within the
quiet

into your soft embrace
that surrounds
my world with
gentle

into your soft eyes
that see my faults
and view me
beautiful

into you
i fall

DLD/26AUG07

softly

softly
come to life
stirring gently in the morning warmth
consciousness arising....slowly, quietly,
climbing up from the depths of sleep

gradually
the dream-mist slips away
leaving pools of reflection....
memories of before-that-happened
imaginings of what-is-still-desired
watch silently as the visions
swirl and drift...
join to one

the past and the future
become now
softly

DLD/26AUG07

Love (Like Life)

Love, like life,
is experienced
in the
in-between spaces.
The places we think
are too small....
The places we think
nothing can exist....
The places we sometimes
ignore
or
forget.

DLD/26AUG07

Listening to: True (George Strait), on iTunes 1.FM County.
Watching: The Last King of Scotland.

if only

if only life were so simple
that all of our needs could be filled
without expectancy
without impatience
without injustice
without anger

if only life were so simple
that all of our dreams could be realized
without exception
without impunity
without greed
without help

if only life were so simple
that we would all give
just give

if only

DLD/24AUG07

Listening to: Sensual Sensual (B-Tribe), on iTunes SKY.FM New Age.
Watching: The Pursuit of Happyness.

Innocence

No need for you to be a man...
Your grown-up world will never stand
The test of time, so set it aside
And let the little boy out from inside.

He'll teach you so much about
Love and kindness and lack of doubt.
The world reflects clearly in his eyes...
Perhaps only the innocent can be so wise.

DLD/23AUG07

Listening to: Bring Me to Life (Evanescence)
On my plate today: Continuing the foundation work for my final-year BSc dissertation (to be written next spring), and for my Masters research proposal (for a thesis that won't be written till the summer of 2009!!! -- BLAWK!). Off to London to pick up yet another stack of books from the LSE Library.

Interlude

Quietly I slip
past the consciousness of thought,
letting the sounds pull
me past the threshold of the
real world of worries and fear.

Tired eyes closed, I drift...
following the music's smile.
I float on the notes...
dance, sway, dream, explore a path
that leads me away from here.

A delicate touch
plays such simple melodies,
yet the depth of the
arrangement resonates in
smooth waves of tranquility.

The soft jazzy tones
play in concert with my heart,
skillfully building
to a gentle peacefulness...
an exquisite elegance.

For of what purpose
is life if not to welcome
simple moments of
beauty, pleasure - nay, rapture...
Let time come to a full stop.

Only then can I
feel the wingtips of the dove
brush against my skin,
hear the songs of truthfulness....
breathe the symphony of life.

DLD/21AUG07

Keys

We connect with many
Whose keys are different.
Together we open doors to new and wondrous places.
We learn together, we strive together....
We celebrate together.
And we grieve.

We connect with the one.
Our keys are the same.
Mine fits you, yours fits me.
My mind opens to embrace the beauty of you.
Your spirit welcomes my presence.
Our souls recognize, and rejoice,
Uniting in a bond that transcends the ages...
We were never apart.

DLD/21AUG07

Listening to: Can You Feel It (Nick Colionne) on iTunes SKY.FM Absolutely Smooth Jazz.
Still working on: Canada Graduate Scholarship application....pretending I know what I'm talking about. :P

I

I am Scarlett O'Hara, without the Scarlett
I am constructed of iron that I created in my own blast furnace
I am as flimsy as a house of cards
I am Strider, dark-clothed, hidden, stalwart
I am Merry and Pippin, a little silly but still mostly brave
I am the most un-mechanical person you have ever met
I am as wild as a tornado, and as crumpled as yesterday's news
I am the spray of the surf and the one unique snowflake amid a storm full of unique snowflakes
I am the comet's tail and Saturn's rings
I am the piano in a piece of music that was meant for saxophone
I am a very tiny facet, reflecting, within a very large creation
I am my father's daughter
I am a product of my past and my future
I am a student of the universe
I am in love with life

DLD/07AUG07

The Only Path Ahead

The only path ahead
is through admission of our weaknesses,
confronting our inner selves,
recognizing the redundancy of
our separate solitudes.

We are all fragile,
yet our spirits are unyielding.

Give up to me your sadness,
your fears, your tears,
your loneliness, your despair...
as I give you mine.

Reach into my eyes
with your drenched spirit gaze.
Do you not see the truth therein?
Neither shadows nor blindness can penetrate here.

Let time sweep us into tomorrow,
where love is created anew,
where strength builds through togetherness.

DLD/18AUG07

Listening to: Against All Odds (Phil Collins)
Brain full of: My cursed inability to decide on a topic for Masters research. I have two more days to make up my mind.

A Mild Form of Insanity

Pushing paper, filling out forms
Transcripts required -- orders placed
Photos needed -- "flash"
New printer -- "install"
Colour cartridge? Print photos?
I can do this :)

187 webpages open at once
(oh yes.... where was I again?)
Nine-page-long applications with 27 pages of
accompanying instructions
*aaarrggghhh*

Reading fine print till my eyes water
Processing information till my brain
suffers a state of cataleptic entropy,
and begins to collapse inward upon itself
*groan*

Selling myself to the world
in bits and pieces
Two-page statements designed to
emit tentacles, grasp the unwary professor
who unknowingly opens the next application,
not realizing that she's about to inhale a healthy dose of
"you-really-want-me-at-your-institution" fairy dust
which I've sprinkled all over the documents,
cackling psychotically as I stuff them all into an oversized envelope....
(same dust, slightly different variety --
"you-really-want-to-write-me-a-big-cheque"
-- sprinkled on scholarship applications)

But today
sitting cross-eyed behind this computer screen,
sometimes I think I've lost my mind....
Right, yes....I've probably absentmindedly slipped it
somewhere between the pages
of my life.

Oh yes, there it is.
Reinstall. Shall we continue?

DLD/16AUG07

Truth

I

The one...
The only....
The answer.

If such beings as us
could possess such knowledge
then wherein would be the joy of the journey?

The truth you see
and the truth I see
are as nothing
compared
to the one and only
truth.

And while we strive for the one...
While we imagine, while we dream,
While we ache for the fullness of the destination...
Scribe what you will....
For it cannot be written.

We are the infinity.
We are the one.


II

May this single truth be known...
For those who hurry to the goal,
Those whose footsteps pound
Resound
Hands in pockets
Body closed
Eyes ahead
Resolute
Forging a straight line
from here to there....

Know that joy resides in getting lost...
inexplicably finding oneself far from the path
of least resistance.
Joy resides in
mud puddles
cornfield mazes
strawberry patches
and stopped clocks.

Without these things,
Completion is irrelevant.


III

The canvas draws me in.
One step, and I leave my worldly existence
and enter the forest of emerald and jade.
Intricately crafted flakes of white drift down,
coaxed free by nothing more than a wisp
so that my path may be illuminated.

Diamonds of sunshine penetrate the darkness,
scattering the shadows of my being.
I catch them in the palms of my hands.
I let them slip through my fingers.
They float gently to my feet.
A witness to the weightlessness
of all that has gone before.
I do not know the words,
but I believe that
truth is here.

I shall seek you out
in the valleys, the meadows, the mountains, the seas.
I shall look for you in the moonlight
that sparkles on the ebony desert sands.
I shall find you
in the place
that is not
the end.

DLD/14AUG07